Thursday, December 20, 2007 . 12/20/2007 09:18:00 pm

I feel that I am going insane. I'm not joking. I've known it for a pretty long time but I just won't admit it. When I was P3, my teacher told me that she had a friend who kept daydreaming and she went insane. I feel that the same is happening to me. But, if I don't daydream, my life would be in ruins. Shattered. It is only because I keep escaping into that world that I am able to keep alive. Nothing like the Bleach cast comforting you after a long day with no one understanding you at all.

Demo, I'm going mad. How do I know? Simple. I keep thinking that they really do exist. In other words, I'm really going mad. I might even start talking to them, out loud, in public.

I need a psychologist. Real bad. But would I ever tell my parents. No way. I know it's stupid, but everyone has their own pride.

I have a LOT of it, if it is countable.

I'm going mad. But honestly, I would prefer to go mad than face life. That's why I stopped believing in God. Sure, though I would never admit it, I believe in God a long long time ago.

However, on one fateful day, I thought, "If God created us just to make our lives miserable, and make so many people get abused, create sexists etc, than I'd rather he didn't create us. Maybe He doesn't exist at all." So, I stopped believing. And don't start saying that "It's us humans that etc etc". I've stopped. There's another reason too, but I'm not typing it down. Someone will sue me! XD

Jaa...What can I do? You know, it's time I stand up and stop escaping. Or time to see a psychologist. Or a counselor (not those prefect people). Whatever.

---Amberle-chan